We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
i think i just lost a toe
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
