butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
