Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize