come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
