I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
