I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize