I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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