My girlfriend figured out who you are.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
