She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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