its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
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and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
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What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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