Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
