haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
