Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Is it because I queefed?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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