Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Is it penis luge time yet?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I can't put those talents on a resume
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
