Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
