I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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