There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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