Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
