imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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