he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
