He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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