Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
