I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
