batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
