I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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