remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
A bitchslap is in order.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize