end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
