Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I smell stomach acid.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
