I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
