dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
