Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
