apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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