This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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