i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
