is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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