I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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