He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
