ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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