hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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