just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Liz is crying about burritos again.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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