I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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