we're blogging at a bar
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
