Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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