He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I have post one night stand depression
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
