just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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