No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
