Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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