She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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