Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Boobs are out for the taking
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
