It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
