Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
