And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
