belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
