If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
