please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
