Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Ketchup is God's man juice
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
