And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
