Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME