ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
