I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
Just dont open the beer drawer.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."