So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
