i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!