I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that