yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm too high and old for this...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
