and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
