Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
is wine microwaveable?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He? As in you personified your dick?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
