You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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