Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
